That's how God made me...

Sometimes I wonder all about me,
just how I came to be what I see.
Why do I love the unloveable,
and believe in the unbelievable?

I'm realizing and accepting that's how God made me.

Why am I sometimes misunderstood,
when the intent of my heart has always been to do good?
Why do I cry so much and feel others pain?
Why do I look for the sunshine even in the rain?

I'm realizing and accepting that's how God made me.

Why do I hum and rock and have music in my head?
How have I pushed through all of the pain and the dread?
Why do I love laughing, giving, loving and learning
when there's been so much disappointment, sadness and yearning?

I'm realizing and accepting that's how God made me.

Why do I like musicals, love stories, Christmas and snow?
Why do I want others to feel the love of this Jesus I know?
Why am I a hopeless romantic that still believes in true love?
It has to be because of my heavenly Father above.

Written July 31, 2012

Learning.......

Webster defines learning as: 1) to gain knowledge, understanding or skill by study or experience; 2) to commit to memory; and 3) to find out.

I've always enjoyed learning. I remember, as a child, I loved school. My plan was to go to school to become a psychologist. I wanted to help people with their problems. Even as a young person, people felt comfortable telling me things. However, at age 20, during my sophomore year in college, I accepted the Lord as my personal savior, joined the church and got married. I started having more children and my education got put on the back burner while I took care of my family and others.

But I longed to return to school. I would have this recurring dream that I was at my high school graduation rehearsal and I was told I didn't have enough credits to walk across the stage. I knew this dream was just a reminder of that yearning for more higher learning.

When the Lord spoke to me to open a family child care home, at age 30, I had three children of my own ages, 6, 8 and 12. I opened it, but I knew in order for me to feel qualified and at peace about providing quality care, I had to learn more about early childhood education. I wanted more than just the minimum requirements of NC Credentials 1 & 2. So immediately, I enrolled in an Early Childhood Education degree program. I completed my Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Education and also received certifications in Early Childhood Administration and Early Childhood Development. My plan was to return to North Carolina Central University (NCCU) to complete my Bachelor's degree in Family and Consumer Sciences. However, the following year, I was going through a divorce and the daycare was closed. Therefore, I put off returning to school.

In the fall of 2010, my middle child entered college and I decided I would return to college in the Spring of 2011. I did return to NCCU and I am looking forward to graduating in December 2012 with my Bachelor's Degree in Family and Consumer Sciences with a concentration in Child Development and Family Relations. However, I don't want to stop. I'm continuing further. My first desire of helping others with their problems is still in me. I'm learning that I'm a resource person and that if I can't personally help you, I can refer you to someone who can help you. In order to do that I have to be a life long learner, because things are constantly changing.

However, school isn't my only teacher. I realize now that I've been having on the job training. From the time my mom brought me in this world she has been teaching me. The Spirit of the Lord teaches me. My leaders teach me. My husband and family teach me. Life experiences have taught me a lot and I'm still learning. People around me teach me. Learning about who I am and where I come from teaches me. I work with preschool age children and there are things they can teach me. I'm open to the teachings.

Learning opens many doors to you. It allows you to accept other people's thoughts and opinions without getting offended or being judgmental, as you realize everyone has been taught different things. You wonder why there is prejudice, because it was learned. Both good things and bad things can be learned. Knowing the difference in those good and bad things gives us the opportunity to make informed decisions. My prayer is Lord, let me learn everything you would desire for me to learn; then let me use it to better myself and help others.

Yes, I'm still learning.........

TIME

T -  Treasure it  - because once it's gone it's gone.  No matter how much we remember the
       good old days, they are gone.  Each moment that passes is one moment less we have
       left to live in our mortal bodies.  It's one moment less to finish the course of our lives
       that God has for us.

I -   Invest is wisely - we want a good return on our time spent.  Let's figure out where we're
       spending it and see if it is worth the return.  Are we investing time in relationships (with
       God and others?  Are we spending time doing things to improve our lives and the lives
       of others?

M -  Make the most of it - because tomorrow is not promised.  If we should die today, would
        we have made the most of our time?

E  -   Enjoy it  - It's a gift from God.  What are we going to do with this gift? Think of all the
         great creations that were made for our enjoyment.  So why not enjoy our time?

I'm Coming Out

Diana Ross wrote the hit song, "I'm Coming Out" in 1980.  I was nine years old at the time but I really liked the song.  The first verse says, "There's a new me coming out and I just have to live and I just wanna give, I'm completely positive.  I think this time around  I am gonna do it, like you never knew it oh, I'll make it through.  The time has come for me to break out of this shell. I have to shout that I am coming out!"

In 2006, at age 35,  I made this my theme song.  It helped me as I was making hard life changes that people didn't expect from me. I acknowledged God and sought Him for answers.  When He released my answer, I talked to Him the more.  I told Him people are not going to understand.  I then heard so clearly, "To thine own self be true."  I knew then that He understood.  I didn't wrestle any more. I was ready to come out of my shell, no matter what the cost.

Now 6 years later, there's another level of coming out.  This time it's God pulling me out.  When I want to stay in the background, He's saying come out.  Where I'm used to being quiet, He's saying open your mouth. It's been closed long enough.

God is once again bringing His people up and out! No longer does He want us to stay in the background. We are the head and not the tail. There are many who have never been introduced to our loving God. God wants to introduce them through us.

People are looking for something real and different.  God is making ways for us to model that difference.  He's placing us in areanas in which we can be the light that guides people to Him.  God is supernaturally shifting us into government, businesses, entertainment fields, institutions of learning, sports and much more.  Yield to the new level of coming out.  It can be mind blowing.  You may even ask, "God, are you sure?"  Yes, He is very sure. It's for His glory.  If we don't come out, others will remain stuck. 

I'm coming out!  What about you?

Time flies, so while I'm still here, I want to live!

When I was younger, I used to hear people say, "Time sure flies when you're having fun." But it seems lately, that it's flying all the time. It was Christmas the first and last time I wrote a blog.  A lot has happened in my life in two short months.  Sometimes when I look at my children, I remember when they were just babies. It doesn't seem like it was that many years ago, but their ages and mine's tells me that it has been that long. In our suffering we sometimes wish that time would hurry up and when we're having fun, we don't want the day to end. We've also heard it said, "Time waits for no man." As I mature, I'm understanding that the more. Therefore, I've decided that since our heavenly Father has allowed me this time to be here, I want to truly live. Acts17:28 states, "For in him we live, and move and have our being.

Deuteronomy 8:1-3 states, "1) All the commandments which I command thee this day shall ye observe to do, that ye may live, and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the Lord sware unto your fathers. 2) And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. 3) And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee to know that man does not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live. Of course we all haven't had the wilderness experience like the Israelites, but we've had our own personal wilderness experiences, in which we were humbled and realized that without Him we're just existing. We've listened to the words of many others but it's by God's word that we live.

Ecclesiastes 9 exhorts us to live and enjoy life. Ecclesiastes 9:7-12 states, 7) Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works. 8) Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment.  9) Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity; for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. 10) Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.  11) I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.  12) For man also knoweth not his time....  Who said we couldn't enjoy life? Satan, who is a liar and the father of liars. Jesus told us in John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Don't accept just existing. While we're still here, let's live and declare His glory!

Is that...? Yes, I'm still living!

Last October (2010) as I was on my way back from back sliding I heard in my ear you're still living, still learning, still loving and still laughing.  The enemy comes to steal our life, steal what we've learned, steal our love and steal our laughter. But Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).  He comes that we might have life and that we may have it more abundantly (John 10:10).  It's because of Jesus that I'm still living today. Is that Sharon? Yes, I'm still living. But, not only am I living, I'm still learning, still loving and still laughing.  Some people allow life and mistakes to take them out completely, but since God didn't allow life or my mistakes to take me out, I might as well live life to the fullest. My favorite scripture has come to life, "And this we know, that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Besides who wants to live and not learn? I'm a life long learner, learning something new everyday. Who wants to live and not love?  It's not always easy to love, but it's always worth it. My question is, "Why not love?" Who wants to live and not laugh?  I've cried and been sad long enough.  Laughter is good medicine. And just as I wrote that last statement I heard a loud boom and went outside to see my truck that I just got in September wrecked by a drunk driver. But you know what? I'm still living, still learning, still loving and yes, even now, still laughing!